Ups and Downs: Episode 1, Avalanche

Thank goodness winter is not more than 1 season!  I went for a walk today in the most wonderful part of the town I work called Westford.  The pleasant part is there are almost no homes in site.  It is mostly trees and fields and I can see myself snow shoeing all up in there.  This wooded place where I started attempting to meditate.  I say attempt, because I initially read a 20 minute meditation session would really help clear my mind, dig for new ideas, and other good things.  

My first meditation was a huge fail and I cut the session down to 5 minute meditations with a 30 second break.  My attention span is that bad.

While I sat there in my car just listening to the sound of my breath, floods of ideas came, and I was able to make it through my mini meditations!  The idea of making a comic popped in my head and I thought... well what the heck!  The temp drops will have me at a computer more often and I've just figured out how to use the vector drawing program called Inkscape, so this should be a fun trip.   

Custom Order: Heart & Wings Pendant in Stainless Steel

My friend and uber supportive customer, Yolanda had placed a request for a pendant with hearts and wings.  I sent around 5 designs to her and she settled on this one.

The material used here is stainless steel and the design was whisked off to shapeways.com, printed, and mailed to me.

Nothing like a little flying heart to brighten someone's day!  Now I need to get cracking on a flying unicorn pendant!

An outsiders view on divorce

As a young child as a 4 or 5 year old, my first memory of marriage wasn't my parents.  It was a quaint wedding ceremony where a couple Dominicans in a Methodist church came together and were married in Lawrence, MA.  This memory is growing faint, but is still there.  From that snapshot in my life, I was inspired to get married as well and find someone worth marrying.  The memory was so powerful it guided my interactions with girls I liked up until I was married.  The outside ceremony was internalized and I wanted to be that close to someone.

I haven't seen the couple since they were married, but the same feelings come up when I attend a friend's weddings as they set sail into unknown waters.  People bound to each other as they change in a changing world.

There is a much darker memory I have of my parents divorce and the court room hearing that would decide which parent got custody.  I assumed kids who experienced their parents split up could at least do so in privacy of their home.  Yes the married couple grew apart, lets quietly move on.  The court room, unlike tv court rooms, had no background music.  There was silence and the rattling fans of ancient air conditioners.    Our family and the entire court room standing around the end of a failed marital charter.

Stacked above my parents divorce is another memory of my wife's parents split.  I was old enough to be able to speak with her mom before the divorce finalized, but again, I showed up long after she had made her decision.  In my head, I wanted to honor the initial memory I had as a child: two people get together and promise to take care of each other for their mortal lives.

My friend recently told me of his wife moving away and this immediately toppled me into wondering why so many marriages end in divorce?  Is divorce a problem in America?  A quick web + book search reveals that people in their early twenties for both genders are more likely to get divorced.  Couples with kids are slightly less likely to get divorced.

The fear I have is that this divorce monster will clearly break into my house, find my typing away at my computer, and pull me into itself so I will be among the divorcees.

But the truth is a divorce is the end of the relationship.  It's two shipmates parting ways at the nearest sight of land.  The sideways tree after unskilled pruning.  Divorce isn't the problem.  It is everything that leads up to someone calling it quits on someone else.  The concept that a divorce can actually separate two people is somewhat false.  I hear it from divorcees of long marriages when they talk about their X wife.  They say X so often it's as though they are still living together.  Can a divorce truly separate you from the closest person in your life?  The person who has brought you to where you are now due to sheer proximity?

I have seen it in my own life.  I cook and clean differently now that I've lived with my wife.  I think about finances differently.  I think about changing sheets and pillow cases (thinking is clearly not enough).  All this because I've seen my wife over 11 years consistently approach life's details in a meaningful way.  For some things, I would just start copying her... say if she made bread a certain way.  Over time her way of life starting changing my own.  Soon I would go from being inspired by her lifestyle and I would take it in and give it my own twist.

This assimilation (couldn't think of a better word) is something too deep to be removed.  Even Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind hinted at this.  Why is it then that people who become one in every way possible want to go back to being two?

I am no psychologist here so bear with me.  The dissolving of a marriage is partly due to ignorance and partly due to truth.  Even after all the oneness is going on, between the unplanned make out sessions, unity candle, bedroom, and beyond, the persons in the marriage are continually changing.  Lifestyles, work, habits, beliefs, are in flux.  To be on top of all this, people need to always be on the same page.  They need to take time out of their day and be comfortable with rambling.  Sharing dreams and fears without being concerned they will be judged or squashed.  This sharing and being on the same honest page over time would most likely prevent all divorces.

The flip side of this is ignorance of who you are.  I feel like my life would be different if I realized my passions earlier in life.  But realizing them at all is a start and playing with the passion and creating things transforms me.  If spouses are ignoring truly important areas in each others lives begging to be discovered they will inevitably grow apart.  I remember my father discouraged my mom from taking classes in college.  He discouraged her, yet she reopened this "door" wide open and has taught thousands of kids about handling bully's and is on the way to completing her PhD.   If someone would torture themselves through the expenses of college & years of trying to find a good adviser just for a degree, why should a person's ignorance stand in their way?

If a person loves the risk of gambling, take away the gambling and talk about risk.  May be there is some other way that desire for risk can be satiated, but ignoring a blind pursuit of risk will only lead to peril.

Since ignorance is turning away from the truth, truth is the main issue.  Truth in a relationship will save the ship.  Truth will help avoid thinking you are about to land in North America when you really are in the middle of the Caribbean.  Giving a place for truth in daily conversation and through the unwinding the walking stress ball of a person you are married to might just save your spouse from becoming someone you can't bear to live with.


Sources:
http://www.divorcestatistics.org/
Divorce: Causes and Consequences

Happy Birthday October Babies!

Today is my little sister's birthday.  Happy Birthday, Priscilla!  This month holds the birthdays
of several friends.  Some of who I haven't seen for years, but somehow
their birth date has stuck to me.  Others I've seen recently and will see again soon.
My birthday is on Halloween.

I can see how a birthday can be sensitive for some and a celebration for others.
You may have been a bit more solitary at this stage in your life and your birth date
just reminds you of aging and things slowing down.  You may have found new friends or
still be connected to old ones.  Your birthday will be celebrated with friends at a
house or restaurant.  May be life is just to busy to get those you love together,
so you'll celebrate it with a nap.

In any case, you, and your life, with all the ups and downs - sidesteps and strides,
when it is summed together it is filled with value.  If you don't agree, take
a moment and remember the things that warm you up on this cold windy day.  Then remember
those who you have made smile.  Who you have inspired or shared travels with.

I'm not sure if it's age, but I often make the mistake of staring and pondering over
things that really bother me.  They are outside me, but over time they get under my skin
and I fight this process.  After the struggle, if that irritant presses on, I close my eyes and
eventually grow numb to those "negative forces" and unfortunately I grow
numb to other areas in my life whether they are good or bad.

At this stage I am left with a choice.  Either I continue getting bitter at the things I don't like
& can't change immediately, or I suck it up and use this day to try and change one thing.
To take a step forward or prepare myself to be inspired for the next project or expedition.

Birthday's are a celebration of life, but they are also a reminder that we were placed on this
earth to sidestep bitterness and make a difference.  To change how people see the world.
It's when I am distant from this purpose that I get bitter and when I pull away.
But something always catches my eye and warms a place deep inside to remind
me there is still life and purpose within me.   And this is true for everyone.  Even you.
To all my fellow October babies and to all babies around the world, gifted and grown or little and lovely...

Happy Birthday. : )

Nostalgia Attack: Bob Ross

Have you ever made a decision and a few years later realize your mistake?  My wife and I finally closed an evil and torturous chapter of our lives.  The previous owners of our house painted most rooms pistachio green.   Actually I take that back.  It was closer to monster green... an unnatural eyesore.  Then we had kids and had to live with the green on these walls, less time, and shortened energy levels - is this really paint or are the walls rotting before our eyes?!?

Eventually, one we painted over the green paint, one wall at a time.  We were learned about  paint finishes.. egg shell versus satin versus semi gloss.  And I found out that I suck at even brush painting.  My wife was much more gifted at painting consistently with a brush and I was given the roller for the quick jobs.

Last night as my wife, covered over my horrible brush work I could hear a familiar sound... pat pat pat pat.  It was my wife tapping paint from her brush to the wall.  This was such a pleasing sound, but I knew I had heard it before.

Enter Bob Ross.  The virtuoso of wet on wet oil painting.  It was his brush strokes I remembered.  His hypnotic voice that would send me into a trance as a kid (and my parents rejoiced!). And his breath-taking happy worlds he would make over and over again until I wanted nothing more then to leave this world and be painted onto his canvas.

Thanks Mr. Ross.  You, your smile, your paintings, and perfectly formed afro will always be a source of wonder and inspiration.

Origami

Just ordered this origami book after watching this video.

 

I don't want to use Langs tree program, because I've been stumbling on interesting designs by hand.  There are certain folds that force the paper to respond in unpredictable ways.  Watching the paper as I fold guides me to new folds to exploit the paper's properties and responsiveness.  Certain folding techniques even work with the 140lb paper I purchased for watercolor painting.

 

Glitter and ornament experiments

My kind uncle-in-law has hooked me up with glitter samples from his company. I'll be testing out adding glitter to varnish & water color paints over the next month.

On the list of experiments is figuring out what ornament designs to sell. I threw a bunch on the table and my wife and son told me their favorites. i put their names down and will continue messing around. The last piece of origami from my hands was a set of boxes I made years ago. This is new territory for me and I love it!!

Fall Apparel 2012

This is my mom standing in my old backyard in New Hampshire.  She is modeling my new product line with block printed t-shirts.  She had just finished hosting a sleep over with all her grand-kids and kindly offered to help demonstrate how the tees look.

There are several memories I have of that backyard.  Mowing the lawn, birthday parties, talking to neighbors, speaking to my neighbors wife before she passed on, and watching the families around us change and enjoy life.

Backyards are my favorite type of yards due to the house blocking the sound and sights of passing cars.  Typically giving way to bird chirps and setting the stage for great conversation.

My mother has always been supportive and taken time out to see how I'm doing.  She is a psychologist and an excellent student on her way to completing a PhD so I'd think she'd have me figured out by now.

But this step into adding designs on apparel is new and I'm learning a lot from it.  This specific t-shirt is made from organic cotton and is printed with inks used for silk screening, but pressed with rubber blocks I carved.

The leaf pattern is from a birch leaf and have is segmented into intricate geometry to contrast against the smooth contour of the natural leaf edge.

The print below the leaf is a partial print of a block that says "OOAK" or crafter lingo for "One Of A Kind".  The bottom print is a cross between R and A which is my new logo with which I'll be branding all prints.

I'll be posting more items as the days progress and as I move forward plans to make ornaments for the winter holidays.

The shirt can be purchased on Etsy here.

 I've used the same technique with cotton tote bags and experimented with the autumn color fades too.  There's an energy I feel when I see these prints.  It's almost a primal vibe and feels like from people long ago were scrawling a history of their time.

The oak leaf tote to the left is available here.  The birch leaf tote is for sale here.

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Listen to the latest tracks from Bright, the Morning for free!

Finished Season 1 of the Event

I just finished watching season one of The Event.  The premise of the movie is their are aliens that look exactly like people who want to leave Earth.  Throughout the show there's a lot of drama and very few displays of what makes the aliens so...alien.  In V, the extra-terrestrial beings have reptile bodies under human skin.  In X-files each episode reveals some conspiracy or alien related phenomena pushing the plot forward or into unknown territory.  This show seemed to talk a lot about these aliens being from another planet, but there was very little to show for it until the finale.

The political tiers of power and board rooms where people are sitting in a protected room calling the shots, slowed down the momentum of the show.

Shawn (guy on the top left of the image) is a young hacker who against all odds, seeking out his kidnapped girlfriend, and finding a billionaire who appears to be experimenting on the human population  outside the country.  He seems to be my favorite character, because he has very few resources and yet has to make the most of his online and offline skills.  Any character who has me saying "I would never do that!" over multiple episodes is the one who will have the most interest.  They are continually teasing out their own character in the face of danger and slowly show you why they are special.

After I made it through the season (The President's wife's closing remark is brilliant), I was disappointed to see NBC cancelled the show.

Thoughts on the movie Commune

I have been in a couple circles and got close enough to people to hear their desires.  Social circles are so much different than Facebook and change based on your current life stage.  One common thing I've heard is, "We should form a commune".  The amount of oneness present with people to desire just to live with them all the time still is mysterious to me, but I got to get a small glimpse of it by watching Commune.

This movie is set in California after a group of people had finished protesting in Washington DC before an election in the 70s.  They were fed up with the system and decided to start over.  The group eventually purchased the Black Bear Commune for around $20,000 and lived there.  The struggles and joys they experienced made me realize when a group splits off from another larger group, there is always a distance and struggles between ideals and reality.  Even after separating and starting a new community with good intentions, they ran into a few major problems due to how open the community was, and the natural shift of expectations when couples have children.

The good aspect to a commune is people have the open space to explore and figure out what they are good at and use this skill to serve the community.  In the best case, a person could be surrounded by several mentors and learn how to hone their craft, teach their skill, and balance their repertoire with skills taught by others.

The story of this commune shows the positives and negatives while doing an excellent job of presenting this
life approach as an alternative to being raised in the city or suburbs.

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Visit Stonesartisianjewelry for great gifts for fall birthdays and winter holidays!

Dull Colors

I love being able to talk to my kids about complex things with such accessible benefits.  Let's take the leaves changing color for example.  I told them how maple trees will turn red and was able to walk up to a tree and hand them a leaf so they could examine the unique elements to this season.  I encouraged them to pick up any leaves they think look cool or beautiful.

As we walked to the daycare/school, my son picks up a leaf and says, "Here, Daddy".  He handed me a brown leaf and I reminded them these colors are only here for a little while.  Eventually they all turn brown.

Up until this moment, I had grown dull to the season.  Oh the leaves are changing color, big whoop!  But when my son handed me the leaf I understood it is important for me to learn or return to the sense of wonder my children display.  Even if things look the same on the surface.  Even if I've seen the same thing for 30+ years.

There are 100 of this etsy print available here.

Thoughts after watching "I'm Still Here"

Originally, I watched the David Letterman clip with Juaquin Phoenix as an former actor trying to start a hip hop career. He acted so strange and disconnected and most people would agree. This performance made me curious to watch JP's and Casey Affleck's movie and I just finished it.

It is a star laden reality tv styled documentary tag along with an entitled actor trying to write a new chapter in his life by starting a career as a hip hop rapper. He tries to express himself in a new way outside of the career he's established. The story starts with him fully confident about his new pursuit and ends with him walking into deep waters. He has a small support network, but in the end they can't shield him from the reality of taking a risk. The ridicule, fear, and doubt he probably faced interally is mirrored by the system he wishes to leave. With JP grasped tightly the system says, "No JP. Don't try anything new. Do what works. Make people happy."

He makes a few attempts to explain he is serious about his new passion, but they only strap their foolishness and mockery tighter like a fake beard and repeat the system's message. He hits such lows that his pompous attitude diminishes to reveal an uncredited chorus silently repeating a refrain to do what has worked. Those in the acting career he has departed mock him and silently agree to take on the role of the villian in this story.

I probably sided too much with JP's character, but there is truth to the story. How often are people ridiculed when they attempt to take a risk and try something new? Often it turns out to be the opposite of a Disney movie with people rejecting change and the interal dialogues of the adventurer rising high.

JP, Casey, and company do so well they succeed at crystalizing the negative force opposesing a person following a new passion. They leave the viewer with JP walking through the uncharted waters of a still river. He is no doubt asking "Is this new thing I love worth fighting for?"

Pressure

I wish I could take a picture of these Panda Bear sized pressure sitting on my shoulders now.  The craft fair is hours away and out of nowhere I feel fears breathing down my neck?  Will I do well?  What do I want to walk away with?

One fear I have is that no one will come.  I would have prepared all those materials stayed up till 2 AM several nights in a row for nothing.  Or is it really nothing?  This pressure has forced me to idea storm and creative in really short bursts of time.  It's made me give the "yeah" or "nay" to goods I've considered selling so I can focus on the next item to prepare.  When I make mistakes (water soluable ink on t-shirts = #facepalm) I feel like I will never forget that mistake.  It also make me curious as to what makes something so permanent that it stays on a t-shirt despite water and UV?  Is there a more sustainable way to make custom tees?  Probably.  This is what I have to explore in the coming months.

I've realized that t-shirts mean a lot to me.  They speak to how I love casual environment, and the flow of creativity and ideas.  The natural and humorous communication on people, us walking canvases.  We change so often that we don't even realize it.  Grabbing a tee or an outfit is a statement that we are in tune with ourselves for that moment.

This pressure has polarized the types of things I want to make and has given little sparkles of light in the distant places I have yet to explore.  I know that if I'm not exploring, I'm watching someone else explore, and this may be ok when I'm taking a breather, but at the end of the day, I want to tell my own story. 

Craft Fair Tomorrow!

I've made invites on FB and Google+, but if you are in the Worcester, MA area tomorrow night, come out to Beatnik's Indie Craft sale!  I'll have a display rack with my latest goods.  I've included some of the items for you here....

Anything that doesn't sell will be blogged about in another post and listed for sale on etsy.

These are the results that came from a love for custom t-shirts.  I began using fiber markers and moved to block inks.  I didn't get to try out silk screening, but I expect to do so in the next few weeks + post those items on etsy.  I mentioned this to a fashion savvy friend of mine and she pointed out something I was struggling with.

I started by getting a bunch of men's tees this summer and I was overwhelmed with the type of t-shirts, blouses, etc.  available for women.  It was as though there was an entire universe of fashion to account for.   I may tackle a portion of that in the future, but my friend recommended I start with block prints on scarfs.  I could make infinity, or other non-knit scarf and apply as many prints as a customer desired.

Right now I have 1 product requested by a friend, but the other items were made mostly based on my own interest for Halloween.  The block print theme on the bags continued onto other fall colored women's tees (not shown yet).  I really love the ancient feel of the patters and reminds me of finding buried fossils or
stones printed with hieroglyphs.

I will post again on my experience at the craft fair!!