Thursday, May 23, 2013

Father's Day

With all the father's day hub bub I look at myself and take a deep dive to see what can be done better. You see the truth is cartoons are great, but they polarize a simple truth residing in each individual. We all have the capacity to do good and bad to ourselves and others.

We all are the good guy and bad guy inside and in the world. A He-man and a Skeletor all in one package. So the true question is, how are we doing in this fight? To be less bad and more good? I assume in this sort of struggle we are all in the same boat and agree that being more good is better for the world. It is also easy to continue doing the same amount of good as I did last year.

But doing more good is the true goal. As a dad I need to lay myself on the surgery table and see what makes me tick. What am I excited about? Am I excited about the things my kids get excited about? How often do I play with them versus do my own thing? Can I share my passions with my kids + wife? Is my job sending me back home a happy dad or an angry dad?

That last point really hits home, because my son new we were done with our last vacation from looking at my face the first day coming back from work.

He said I stopped smiling.

I do have an obligation to work and pay the bills. And I have the good fortune to have clients lining up for design jobs, and rendering work for side income, but me coming home with a frown means whatever time I do have, lunch time, time before I go to work, needs to be hacked so my mind isn't dwelling on the worst events from the day. I know father's day is holiday to celebrate dads, but for me it is more of a call to be a better dad. To give my kids a life experience boosting them out to be determined flourish.

The me that comes home from work is nowhere near there and this Father's day, like a late New Years Resolution, is a quiet and strong reminder that I need to continue finding environments where I thrive and teaching my kids to do the same.